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  1. Prince William’s beard honoured

    I'd rather honour Prince William's beard anytime over that of Dr Rowan Williams! Can you think of another instance when Tom Jones (a favourite…

  2. Cat Plays The Piano

    With the gorilla on the Cadbury's advert we only now need two more players to make a hit making band.

  3. Man is found glued to toilet seat

    One mustn't laugh but it is good to know that the toilet was restored back to its rightful location!!

  4. Rick Astley shortlisted for MTV award!

    Rickrolling started as a gag, grew into an international boredom-killer, and finally results in the cheesiest artist of the 80's in the 2008…

  5. Things going on behind your back

    Whilst all this is going on with the Large Hadron Collider, have you heard what they are doing with the small hadron avoider? I think all…

  6. Large Hadron Collider and Health and Safety

    I can quote nothing better that Mr Nick Rowlatt's letter to the Telegraph: 'what I want to know is: who said they could do it? Given that I…

  7. What You Don’t Say To Your Wife

    This should be the anthem for all those blokes who dont care about their relationships!

  8. Alligator on loose in city was just a soft toy

    I wonder how many of our gallant police force were employed in this major operation!

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  1. In Dog-snatchers!, nikkie said:

    “well sorry but i think that`s realy cruel dogs arnt meant for…”

  2. In Man is found glued to toilet seat, nikkie said:

    “Im realy sorry but how the hell did he get stuck to the flipping…”

  3. In Rick Astley shortlisted for MTV award!, RW said:

    “But would you prefer to have another go now or try and bop to some…”

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  1. Welcome!

    “Well, here we are! Today we open our doors and welcome in our first members to Complete Twit. So, what’s it all about? Do you find yourself…”

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