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  1. Woman fined for kissing painting

    The 'priceless’ painting in question was a blank white canvas! If the artist isnt able to do another one then perhaps I could oblige for a…

  2. Presley regains rich list crown

    According to the BBC, "Elvis Presley is the highest-earning dead celebrity, with an annual income of $49m (£23.7m), a US survey…

  3. Warhol’s Liz Taylor set for sale

    This is another reason for Hugh Grant’s many female(and I suppose male!) fans to get excited as he apparently owns the picture. It is a rather…

  4. Mum of the Year?…

    'I only meant to hire a gorilla!'

  5. Heavy metal monk

    Brother Cesare is a Capuchin monk... and the lead singer in a heavy metal band. No, really!!! Inspired by a Metallica concert he went to over…

  6. A strange thing happened to me yesterday…

    Yesterday I had cause to go to the West End for a meeting at 4.00pm. I took the car because getting there by public transport is a nightmare…

  7. I will personally make a large contribution to the RAF’s budget for more of these!

    I love the letter in today’s Telegraph from one Michael Holmes, Old Catton in Norfolf – it is one of the funniest stories I have heard for a…

  8. Prince 'in discussions’ with fans

    I sincerely hope he has no influence over Kylie and persuades her to do the same!

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  1. Welcome!

    “Well, here we are! Today we open our doors and welcome in our first members to Complete Twit. So, what’s it all about? Do you find yourself…”

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