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  1. Car parking and City of Westminster

    Those of you who read my story last November about having my car towed away by City of Westminster despite my having paid the parking fee on…

  2. If your name is on it…

    I have heard of some very odd ways to die but this must be one of the strangest. It would be quite so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that it…

  3. Here is something to while away a Tuesday afternoon

    See how long it takes you to complete the puzzle

  4. It makes living on Salisbury Plain look rather tame

    It was nice of them to confess and to pay up. Otherwise how would you have known where the rockets came from? Was it someone you had…

  5. Obese teenagers to be taught how to cook

    Knowing teenagers, isn’t this a recipe (sic) for getting them to eat even more?

  6. Little old ladies aren’t what they used to be…

    I know one or two little old ladies like this one…She probably wanted a bit of change to play bingo with and the local Post Office has been…

  7. Monkeys’ wedding

    Honestly, the things people think up. I mean, what is the point? Did someone think his life had become a bit drab, that he wasn’t getting…

  8. 'schoolgirl' was a 39 year old man

    I want to know whether 'she' had pigtails and whether they realised that 'she' was not all that she seemed when the five o'clock shadow set…

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  1. In Dog-snatchers!, nikkie said:

    “well sorry but i think that`s realy cruel dogs arnt meant for…”

  2. In Man is found glued to toilet seat, nikkie said:

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  3. In Rick Astley shortlisted for MTV award!, RW said:

    “But would you prefer to have another go now or try and bop to some…”

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  1. Welcome!

    “Well, here we are! Today we open our doors and welcome in our first members to Complete Twit. So, what’s it all about? Do you find yourself…”

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